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Things to do in Petaluma and Napa, CA

June 7th to June 12th

I pulled into Rohnert Park around 8am and went straight to the local Planet Fitness for a workout and a shower. The showers there would get scalding hot whenever somebody flushed a toilet. I thought we figured that out years ago...

Petaluma Waterfront

After the workout and the scalding hot shower I went to Petaluma and got a coffee on the waterfront at River Front Cafe. A friend of mine lives just south of Petaluma and she recommended Brewster’s Beer Garden for an afternoon spot (A place to drink heavily). I spent a few hours at the cafe working on videos and chatting with the local homeless population, I am one of them now after all.

Homeless Guy: What are you doing on your laptop? You look pretty serious.

Me: Just editing some photos right now, how you doin' man?

HG: Photos? Why do you look so serious then?

Me: I don't know, I guess I could relax my face a little. How's this? (relaxed all facial muscles)

HG: Keep editing those photos man. *walked away*

I'm having a hard time relating to my new people.

After my coffee I walked around the downtown area to check out the digs. My favorite stop was Copperfields New and Used Books, of course. It’s pretty rare that I walk into a bookstore and don’t spend too much money but in this case I stayed strong, didn’t buy a single book. My Aunt would be so disappointed. I finally decided I was done walking and I went back to my car to make a couple ham and cheese sandwiches. I made them in my lap criss cross applesauce in the driver’s seat. With a full tummy I went back into the world to grab a beer, some electricity, and some wifi. I found a place called Ayawaska RestoBar. They had an outlet, wifi, and a local IPA on tap, I settled in. A few hours later I finally looked up from the screen, rubbed the light from my eyes and headed off to go back to Rohnert Park for some Z’s. Unfortunately I couldn’t find a very good place to park and I ended up sleeping on the side of the road. I only got about 4 hours, the roughest night yet.

The next morning I woke up bright and early and hit the gym. After that I went to Olive Garden to see about this “Endless Soup Salad and Breadstick” offer I had heard about. My buddy claimed that for $8.99 you can get as much soup, salad, and breadsticks as you can eat. No goddamn way. Turns out, you guessed it, it’s real.

Me: Hey I heard something about unlimited soup salads and breadsticks.

Waiter: So do you have a question?

Me: Is it real?

Waiter: Yes.

Me: What's the most amount of food you've ever seen anybody eat?

I had 3 bowls of soup, 3 family sized bowls of salad, and 8 breadsticks. The waiter didn't seem impressed. I went and sat at the library after Olive Garden to charge my devices and edit some videos. I need to start making money, like for real. I met a girl on the internet and she set up a date for Wednesday. I'm stoked. I need to hang out with someone. Wednesday I woke up excited for my date. The plan was to hit the beach and then go grab dinner. She cancelled. “Why?”, you ask. If I had to guess it’s because I live in my car. Anyway, all good.

Goat Rock Beach: Jenner, CA

I went to the beach by myself. The Birds cafe in Bodega Bay had the best fish tacos I’ve ever eaten. Goat Rock Beach was gorgeous, and the entire coastline north up to Jenner was a sight to see. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have the company of a pretty woman with me but it turned out being a kick ass day. Who am I kidding? I was bummed and would have had a much better time with a pretty woman. I slept outside a house that was for sale that night, I was awoken at 4am by a street sweeper. What the fuck man?

Me: (Get out of car in basketball shorts and no shirt)

Street Sweeper Guy: Hey man you gotta move your car.

Me: Oh shit, my bad. Do you guys do this everyday?

Street Sweeper Guy: (Points to a nearby sign) Only on Tuesday.

Me: Gotcha.

He seemed a little too unfazed by the fact that I got out of the back of my car shirtless at 4 am. I got the vibe that this street sweeper guy had seen some shit. I hit the gym and cruised over to Petaluma. I went to the Riverfront Cafe again for a coffee and then had pizza at The New Yorker, bomb and greasy. I told the waitress that I was from Washington and love Lagunitas beer and I was stoked that every restaurant in town had it on tap.

Waitress: The Lagunitas Brewery is right down the road.

Me: What the hell am I doing here?

The Lagunitas Brewery in Petaluma is an absolute blast. Huge outdoor area, I stayed indoors of course because I require outlets to operate but I wandered the outdoor area. I’m never leaving Petaluma.

Turns out, I left. I went to Napa, CA. Downtown Napa is the coolest place ever. Ton’s of good food, good beer, and fake boobs. No complaints here. Might hangout for a Friday night and see what that’s all about. I slept in a mall parking lot on Thursday in Napa, only got about 3 hours…horrible idea. Lot’s of activity throughout the night. I finally opened my pepper spray out of the package, just in case. Odds are I'll probably roll over onto it one night while I'm sleeping and fill my entire car with toxins. I woke up around 5 am Friday morning and went straight to the gym. After that I went downtown and loitered at Starbucks for 6 hours to crank out some videos.

Downtown Joes Brewery: Napa, CA

After Starbucks I transitioned to beer at a place called Downtown Joes Brewery right on the water, absolutely beautiful view and it was happy hour baby. Half off every beer on tap and all appetizers. The brisket sliders were absolutely slammin'.

My mother called me that night and asked how I was sleeping. It had been 9 consecutive nights in my car. She bought me a hotel room down the road, god bless her heart. I slept for ten hours and recharged all my shit. The next morning I woke up and took off for Yosemite, peace out Napa, it's been real.

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