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LAX and Tempe, AZ

July 19 to July 21

Chase Field: Phoenix, AZ

We flew into LAX around 11pm. Dru was nervous as hell because he snuck steroids back into the States. Apparently the dogs aren't sniffing for roids because we walked right by those suckers.

When we got through customs we were funneled out onto the street of the always lovely LAX. When we tried to order an Uber the app told us we had to get to the ride share parking lot or something along those lines, we had no idea, fortunately I met a local on the plane and she showed us where the shuttle was going to pick us up. Finally we got a ride to the parking lot where you get rides. It was a nightmare but in the grand scheme of things it was actually pretty smooth considering the amount of people moving around LAX. By the time we got to Thousand Oaks where my car was, it was nearly 1am. I went to Carls Jr and got a bacon, chicken, cheddar, jalapeño and headed to the motel. They only had single bed rooms so I carried my mattress in from the back of my car and slept on the floor, they had never seen that before.

Hotel Front Desk Person: We only have rooms with one bed available but it's a king.

Dru: *Turns to me* I'll buy the room but you're sleeping on the floor.

Me: King size could fit us both no problem pal.

Dru: We're not sleeping in the same bed.

Me: You're a homophobe.

Hotel Front Desk Person: So do you guys want the room?

Tempe, AZ

The next morning we were determined to get to Phoenix/Tempe. It was a 5 hour drive. We pulled in around 2 pm. Immediately we unloaded our bags at the hotel and got back in the car to go downtown and watch a Diamondbacks game. I didn't realize the stadium was inside so the entire time I had a bottle of banana boat sunscreen hanging out of my pocket like an absolute jackass. I did not meet any women. One of the coolest stadiums I’ve ever been to and thank god it was indoors, the temperature was nearing 110. We "traded up" seats after the 1st inning and again after the 3rd. By the end of the game we were sitting in the dugout. That night we hit Mill street in Tempe and had some drinks. We didn’t stay out late though considering we had a morning tee time.

We pulled into the parking lot of the golf course 9 minutes before our tee time which is of course, tradition. We were hungover as all hell, it didn’t help that it was already 100 degrees (9:00 am). We bought some waters and some whiteclaws and proceeded to have a hell of a round. After golf we went back to Mill Street for some lunch. When we pulled our ID’s out to buy a beer Dru realized he was missing his, he left it at the golf course.

Dru Hate's Kids

See Dru didn’t bring his clubs with him so we only have one set of clubs which works just fine until you get to the green, sharing a putter sucks. So every golf course asks that you give them your ID before they loan you a putter. You can figure out what happened there, we forgot to give the putter back. I gave Dru the keys to the car and sent him to go retrieve his ID while I hit on the bartender relentlessly. She gave me some good recommendations on where to live if I moved to Phoenix and also her phone number, I never called.

When Dru got back we went to check into the hotel for a second night and sit poolside on the roof. Some guy invited us to come play beer pong on the roof with him and his wife so we of course said, “you’re on”. Turns out they had 6 kids under the age of 9 also on the roof, great. At one point Dru looked at me and said, “This has been a great reminder to pull out”. Beer came out of my god damn nose I laughed so hard. After drinking with the family of 8 and getting to know each other we decided there were better things to be had in Tempe and said our goodbyes. We went and got dinner, ripped Bird scooters, unsuccessfully hit on pretty women, drank, and went to bed.

The next morning we had an 11 hour drive to get to Amarillo. I was psyched, Dru was not.

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