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Cozumel, Mexico

July 16 to July 19

Friday we woke up bright and early to head over to Cozumel for our 3 day stay there. Cozumel is a small island just off the coast of Playa Del Carmen. When we checked out of our hotel Dru almost ate a magic towel because he thought it was a mint, I should’ve let him eat it. We headed toward the ferry to book our trip across the water. Turns out, the line was a mile long, we stood in the blistering heat for at least 2 hours before finally realizing you could skip the entire line and buy a VIP ticket for $3 more. We obviously bought those, at that point I would have paid $3000 more to skip the line.

Dru Preparing to Stand in Line For 2 Hours

We arrived in Cozumel and went looking for our 3 day moped and snorkel rentals. We paid $50 to rent a moped for three days and $40 to rent snorkel gear for 3 days. Seemed like an absolute steal to me. We negotiated about $20 down from the start, always remember to negotiate in Mexico, you'll save a ton of money and it's fun as hell. We hopped on the mopeds and ripped to the nearest snorkeling location for a little evening swim. We snorkeled for about an hour, drank for about half that time and then went back to the airbnb. We paid about $50/night for a 2 bedroom/2bath house a block off the main strip. The airbnb prices in Mexico are insanely low so take advantage!


We met a few people that got the all inclusive resort package and when we asked them what they had done so far almost all of them mentioned that they had just stayed at their resort. Don't go to a beautiful foreign country and spend all of your time in a hotel. You can do that in Florida. I suggest a smaller hotel or an airbnb. Immerse yourself, get uncomfortable, don't be a square.

*End of Sidenote*

We went and got cocktails at a restaurant on the main strip called La Inombrable, I mentioned them in the first Mexico blog. They had the best cocktails I’ve ever had in my life. We had 3 a piece and the bill was only $40. This became a nightly routine.

Saturday Dru went scuba diving and I went to the local coffee shop to work on videos and photos. I got on the moped to go pick Dru up from his dive and it started pouring. I mean pouring. I went from dry to completely dripping wet in a matter of seconds.

Here's how it went down:

Moped dies, I’m 2 blocks from our AirBnb and absolutely dripping wet, it's still raining.

I started pushing the moped as fast as I could down the middle of the street, I was laughing like a crazy person. I finally got back to our airbnb and parked her in the garage. I was supposed to pick Dru up from his scuba dive in 10 minutes.

I called Dru:

Me: Hey pal, absolute downpour and the moped is dead. Not sure if I’m going to be able to pick you up from your dive, may have to get a taxi.

Dru: Nah you can make it.

He was so casual that I felt like I was being a bitch, which was his plan, and it worked. So I got back on the moped and ripped out to pick up Dru, risking it all. I only witnessed one moped crash on the way. After I picked up Dru we went and got some burritos and fajitas. Still can’t believe how good the food is in Mexico. You can seriously eat anywhere and you won't be disappointed.

Best Tacos on Earth

After burrito's we showered up and went to our previously mentioned drinking place. After we closed our tab the bartender came up to me and asked for my number. We talked a bit the next day and I had to put everything she said into a translator and vice versa, honestly, kind of fun.

Sunday we woke up early and found a laundromat, not just any laundromat, the best laundromat ever. Only took two hours and our clothes were pressed and folded when we picked them up. While our laundry was being done we ripped the mopeds down a sketchy ass dirt road through puddles and mud. One of the most fun things we did on the entire trip. The road ended up leading to nothing but the ride there was worth it. We took the clothes home and gathered our snorkeling gear and went south for a day full of snorkeling. We hit Moneybar, Playa Corona, and Sky Reef. The snorkeling was great, the best one was Moneybar. We decided to go all the way around the island and stopped at a place named Coconut’s to get some food. Awesome restaurant, probably the coolest location yet. The restaurant sits on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Food was great, service was great, and the book full of boobs was cool too. Apparently the place was called coconuts because if you show your tit’s for a picture you receive free drinks. Our tits did not qualify. We may have had a few too many beers before we got back on the mopeds but we got back on the mopeds. We had one instance where we pulled up behind the policia and didn’t really know what way we were going to turn. So we just sat behind them waiting for the red light to turn green while they stared at us out of the back of the pickup truck holding automatic assault rifles. Longest 10 seconds of my life. We ripped back to the airbnb, showered, and went out to our cocktail place.

The Cozumel "Ship Wreck"

Monday came too soon. Time to go home. We packed and returned the mopeds. Waiting in line for the ferry and hailing a cab is a nightmare but it went somewhat smoothly considering the heat. We got to the airport and of course we had issues getting our boarding passes but eventually got it dialed. Plane was delayed 3 hours because of course it was. We sat and waited for about an hour and finally decided to go find a bar. On our way to the bar we happened to look up at the departure screen and saw that our plane was currently boarding (2 hours earlier than it was supposed to). We fuckin' sprinted to the gates, made it with a few seconds to spare baby. LAX, here we come.

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